Where To Desi Bhai ... A Missing Trust

Perspective

SURJIT S KALRA

Driving home on 60 Pomona Freeway in the Southern California, about three years ago, I noticed a patch of land being developed on the South side of the freeway directly opposite a major shopping center with anchor tenants like Costco, Home Depot, Circuit City, Sams Club-- to name a few. Crazy was the first word that came to my mind. Who would in his right mind put up a large shopping center across from this giant of a plaza where you could find all you need. But the construction went on and one by one the oriental signs appeared on each and every store. This whole episode unfolded like a Polaroid picture, from a blotchy start to wonderful pure shot. What once appeared to be squatted spider like letter on the signs now appear like ornaments complimented with sweet music of continually ringing cash registers. They have created their own economy and have propagated the trans pacific trade.

The curiosity drives you down the road of comparison and on the scale of one to ten, I would say we rank third at best in patronizing our Indian stores. It is amazing to note a vanishing smile, politeness and respect as one comes out of an American store and enters an Indian store next door. It is a classic double standard in behavior. To me this change of attitude and behavioral pattern is a manifestation of missing trust. The customers trust appears like an umbrella which he or she consciously leaves at the entrance of a business only to pick it up on their way out. As for vendors the trust seems to have a time span equal to anng and closing of the cash register. Does our mini-mart owners and vendors really fit the mold of Appu and Sanjay in a famous Simpsons TV show?

Some times it appears like a step back in time as you enter some of these Indian grocery stores right after you have walked out of the glitter of the local American store. Some of these stores are inadequately lighted, their goods are haphazardly placed, display poor house keeping, and their sanitation is not one you talk about happily. You see their produce in plastic containers sitting on the floor, their flour and rice bags stacked on the bare floor. Some of them also cater food and often times you see a few people eating in the store in the direct vicinity of your shopping area. Some of the stores also carry sweets and other edibles, neither covered nor handled properly.

We all have our little experiences and stories to tell which are more or less like a coin with two different sides to it, reflecting our customers’ and vendors’ perspective. Some times these incidents stay imprinted on our mind oblivious to passage of time. In one such incident, after discovering the insects in the flour it was taken back to the vendor for return, instead of just returning and expressing apology over it what the vendor said still echoes in our mind: Aap isko chhan ke kha lo, ye koi badi baat nahi hai. This says it all.

Yet in another incident a lady confronts the vendor after discovering the packet of dal she just bought is rotten and infested and tells him that she has been a customer for many years and why did he sell her this dal knowing fully well that this is not good. Nothing could have prepared her for the answer, which he simply stated that, yes he knew of the problem and that was the reason why he had it on sale. These incidents degrade the community’s character and burns the trust.

Similarly, Indian restaurants evoke hate and love relationship from patrons and owners. Some of these restaurants who prefer to cater exclusively to American clientele are known for their uninhibited double standards. They ought to have some legitimate reasons, which I would be afraid to ask. Then there are other moderate ones who more or less are catering exclusively to the Indian community. They are also known to show bias and are seen bending over backwards to please the white customers often times to the embarrassment of the already seated Indian customers. Amongst other complaints the ones that stand out are the poor service, inadequate food served at dinner time in small containers, a lingering feeling that left over is being reserved for them, and poor sanitation; some times broken cups and plates are noticed which are a health hazard. The prices are not fixed and are bargained leading to an ill feeling for the person who had paid more for the similar party. On the flip side the restaurant owners and their staff find Indian clientele arrogant, with disrespectful attitude towards the waiters, are demanding, and above all, do not tip well, not even enough to bring in a smile on the waiter’s face or buy a pardon to their less then sophisticated behavior.

Look at Air India that stands accused of a sheet full of charges ranging from poor service, indifferent crew attitude, poor sanitation to poorly maintained toilets, vanishing water half way across the Atlantic. Ironically the same accusers accuse themselves, the travelers, for misconduct, substandard behavior, disrespectful to outright insulting attitude towards the flight crew. Some people stand in the aisles drinking alcohol and loudly socializing to the utter discomfort of other passengers. Once again the display of dual behavior by us desi’s on a desi plane! The same passengers on any other foreign airline would behave differently showing off their best of mannerism. The only remedy to this will be for Air India to install the audio-video cameras on its planes and vigorous prosecution to stiff fines on the bad elements on arrival at the airport-- may it be the traveler or the crew member. This will weed out the undesirable characters and enhance the image of the airline and the country it represents.

Our Indian owned motels often are the topic of ridicule in party conversation. Depending on one’s experience or hearsay, they are fairly or unfairly, blamed for poor sanitation, poor house keeping, specially of re-using the bed sheets and other linen by just turning them over instead of replacing them with a fresh one after each use. This lack of trust does not encourage our wavering community to seek out our Indian motels for a comfortable stay with a little touch of our own flavor.

Our health care professionals are not immune to criticism either. Their wealth, houses, cars and social life are a fair game. The legitimacy of their gains is scrutinized fairly or unfairly by each individual’s personal experience. Some of our these professionals stand accused of biased and poor behavior to fellow Indians, over charging, dispensing less than the desired examinations, casual in returning calls and an obvious lack of concern. Their quick rise to the ladder of affluence is not viewed as an outcome of a hard day’s work. The professionals on the other hand find the Indian clientele more demanding, less paying and with too many expectations.

Then there are promises, like a certain travel agent promising a raffle ticket for two to a trip to Catalina Island. The prize was won in last year’s charity Valentines party and to this date the tickets could not be redeemed. First it was mean to hear the travel agent blame the organizers of the show that they have extorted such a commitment from him.

The so-called gentleman now does not even come on the phone, let alone honor his tickets. This is a poor display of character; how can one trust him for any future dealing. Unfortunately our behavior goes out of our community with such disastrous results such as the following experience:

I had a friend from Jamnagar, India, over at my place who wanted to buy scrap brass metal. I accompanied him to several scrap metal places. It was humiliating and painfully sad experience. Each and every dealer we visited was not enthusiastic to deal with us and those willing to do business asked us to come up with cash and only then they will ship the container to Long Beach. These dealers refused to accept the Bank’s Letter of Credit known as LC. I could not resist but to ask them why is it not acceptable for them to take the LC and each time the reply was the same that "I do not know how but in some way you Indians can stop the payment on these LCs." I hung my head in shame and drove my friend home in silence pondering if our Desi brain is too Chatur for our own good.

This may or may not be universal among the Indians but even a handful of incidents are enough to ruin the entire community’s image.

If our vendors display dignity, pride and poise and do all that is needed to command respect the customers themselves will match dignity for dignity and respect for respect. Mahabharat was the result of mistrust and greed, and amazingly the Bhagvad Gita was born in the midst of this carnage. What are we Desi’s waiting for, a divine incarnation to lead us to an obvious path or should we run in our Chatur brains and deal with each other with respect and dignity from a high moral ground.

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